This is an important issue. We agree that the questions related to gender are potentially hurtful to families and children, and we apologize. In the past, gender was considered a hallmark of development but now there exists a much more nuanced and sophisticated view of all that is involved with gender. We consider this item to be dated and have omitted it as we begin work on the next edition of ASQ.
As you use ASQ-3, you may find it best to omit the item related to gender and calculate an adjusted score for the Personal-Social area.
For your reference, items related to gender appear on ASQ-3 in the Personal-Social area on the 36 month, 42 month, 48 month, 54 month, and 60 month questionnaires.